Relationships - Is It Love, Lust Or An Obsession - How To Deal With Your Obsessive Behavior
Are you in love? Are you obsessed? What makes your love an obsession relationship? Let’s find out.
By definition, obsession means a state wherein a person becomes intensely or abnormally preoccupied with his object of desire. Obsession relationship – obsession – object – You treat your partner as an object, a purpose for your fanatical thoughts and actions. That’s what obsession is: a person (a couple) having one-track mind being too concerned with his obsession to the point that he (or they) lose touch of who they are as individuals having their own separate subjectivities. This is bad. Just when you thought you’re only ‘in love’ dearly, you’re behavior turns towards being more and more dependent on the other person and on the relationship in general – The ‘I can’t stop thinking about you’ or ‘I can’t leave without you’ syndrome – Obsession relationship.
Most often, we picture of obsession as a ‘stalker’, a mad lover, a stranger offering, more so shoving, his unrequited love (love without return) ending up either in jail or the asylum. However an obsession relationship could also turn out just as bad since once it ends, the obsessed partner could go just as ‘mad’.
Another comparison that could be made is between lust relationship and obsession relationship. Though a relationship started with a lust, most probably the couple will learn how to really love as they get to know each other better. On the other hand, an obsession relationship turns worse, misleading and destructive, as more and more time and effort is invested in the relationship. “Love can grow out of lust, but obsession kills love every time.”
So before obsession turns any more intense and therefore damaging, even before it starts, it would be saving to know the signs. Watch your behavior. If all of your time and effort goes into satisfying the needs of another person or in courting or pursuing him; if you’re always trying so hard to please the other without him doing the same for you; if you feel that you’ve lost yourself living your life based on the needs of the other person; or if your relationship is without consideration and compromise yet you won’t let go, then you are at risk of obsession. You become caught up believing that someone who doesn’t love you really does, and you can’t move on. You blind yourself to opportunities of meeting someone who will truly make you happy, and in return. So what should you do? –
Stop! Commit yourself to stop. Be a cynic, or be indifferent, whatever it takes. Stop idealizing the object of your obsession. Stop glorifying even sympathizing. Make indifference your approach, the opposite of (too much) love. Remember that real love is nurturing, it helps people grow, but obsession – it weakens, rather taking away from the person trapped in it. Sure you can get lost in love, but don’t lose yourself, be happy.