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Showing posts with label relationship advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship advice. Show all posts

Relationships - Is It Love, Lust Or An Obsession - How To Deal With Your Obsessive Behavior


Relationships - Is It Love, Lust Or An Obsession - How To Deal With Your Obsessive Behavior


Obsession Relationships



Are you in love? Are you obsessed? What makes your love an obsession relationship? Let’s find out.


By definition, obsession means a state wherein a person becomes intensely or abnormally preoccupied with his object of desire. Obsession relationship – obsession – object – You treat your partner as an object, a purpose for your fanatical thoughts and actions. That’s what obsession is: a person (a couple) having one-track mind being too concerned with his obsession to the point that he (or they) lose touch of who they are as individuals having their own separate subjectivities. This is bad. Just when you thought you’re only ‘in love’ dearly, you’re behavior turns towards being more and more dependent on the other person and on the relationship in general – The ‘I can’t stop thinking about you’ or ‘I can’t leave without you’ syndrome – Obsession relationship. 


Most often, we picture of obsession as a ‘stalker’, a mad lover, a stranger offering, more so shoving, his unrequited love (love without return) ending up either in jail or the asylum. However an obsession relationship could also turn out just as bad since once it ends, the obsessed partner could go just as ‘mad’. 


Another comparison that could be made is between lust relationship and obsession relationship. Though a relationship started with a lust, most probably the couple will learn how to really love as they get to know each other better. On the other hand, an obsession relationship turns worse, misleading and destructive, as more and more time and effort is invested in the relationship. “Love can grow out of lust, but obsession kills love every time.”


So before obsession turns any more intense and therefore damaging, even before it starts, it would be saving to know the signs. Watch your behavior. If all of your time and effort goes into satisfying the needs of another person or in courting or pursuing him; if you’re always trying so hard to please the other without him doing the same for you; if you feel that you’ve lost yourself living your life based on the needs of the other person; or if your relationship is without consideration and compromise yet you won’t let go, then you are at risk of obsession. You become caught up believing that someone who doesn’t love you really does, and you can’t move on. You blind yourself to opportunities of meeting someone who will truly make you happy, and in return. So what should you do? – 


Stop! Commit yourself to stop. Be a cynic, or be indifferent, whatever it takes. Stop idealizing the object of your obsession. Stop glorifying even sympathizing. Make indifference your approach, the opposite of (too much) love. Remember that real love is nurturing, it helps people grow, but obsession – it weakens, rather taking away from the person trapped in it. Sure you can get lost in love, but don’t lose yourself, be happy. 


Relationships - Advice To Help You Get Through A Difficult Breakup


Relationships - Advice To Help You Get Through A Difficult Breakup



Relationship Breakup Advice




Breakups are probably one of the most difficult situations to deal with.  For one, if you’re the person who has been dumped, you feel as if there’s something really wrong with you and you start to lose your self confidence.  The pain and the frustration eats you up inside and you’re no longer able to function normally.

 


On the other hand, if you’re the person who did the dumping, you feel really guilty for hurting the other person and you tend to make things better for yourself by getting in contact with them and pacifying them, hoping that if you know the other person is ok, you will be too.  Big mistake!



There are some things about relationship breakups that one needs to know about to save further hurt and insult to the most “injured” party. Here’s some relationship breakup advice:



Relationship breakup advice #1


Usually, breaking up is not easy on the person doing it as it is on the person being dumped.  Never think that because the person has broken up with you, the person no longer cares about you.  There always a big difference between caring for a person and wanting to be in a relationship with that person; put in mind that it is not one and the same.



Relationship breakup advice #2


No one wants to hurt another, especially if that other person has been close to them; that is why it is always quite easy to “guilt-trip” someone into continuing the relationship when they’re attempting to end it.  



Always defy the urge, as using guilt to stop a breakup is not only cheating oneself out of having a real and  good relationship; guilt only fosters bitterness in the other that could lead to greater hurt and heartache in the coming days.




Relationship breakup advice #3



Always remember that if somebody broke up with you, it doesn’t mean to say that there’s something wrong with you; it simply means that the relationship is not working. 



Do not take the breakup too personally, and remember that even great people have had failed relationships.  Failed relationships don’t say anything about ones value as a person, and it doesn’t say anything about you as a person as well.



Relationship breakup advice #4



It is normal to cry in a breakup.  The feelings of hurt, especially when you’re the one dumped are natural emotions, get mad and feel upset, just make sure that you let out your feelings in a harmless place among family and friends. Never make your ex a target of your emotions even if they might have done things to justify your outrage.



Always keep in mind that breakups are never easy, the sooner one lets go of the other person, the sooner the healing can start.  Accept things as they are; never beat yourself up with the situation and decently leave room for future relationship with your ex, even if it’s simply as good friends.






Relationships - Helpful Relationship Psychology Tips To Enhance Your Connections


Relationships - Helpful Relationship Psychology Tips To Enhance Your Connections



Relationship Psychology




A happy relationship doesn’t happen all by itself. Even Cinderella needed the help of the fairy godmother. Unfortunately, we are not Cinderella, and fairies are all but driven to extinction. 



The absence of magic potions and wands does not mean that all relationships are hopeless. Both parties should be as involved in the relationship as the other. Often, people who are in love can’t or refuse to see the very obvious.



Relationship psychology does not make fortune tellers out of you, though it makes you see where you’re relationship is heading by looking at each of your personalities. How healthy a relationship is can also be determined by relationship psychology by looking at the couple’s first encounter, their courtship, and their current situation. All these are believed to be good indicators of what to expect of the commitment.



There are tips to help couples find out about their relationship psychology. Often, relationships turn sour because one of the partners cannot deal with his prevalent emotional baggage.



Persons with ADHD or ADD may not feel that they are capable of maintaining a good relationship with anybody. They move about in self-pity knowing that there is something wrong, although not realizing what it is. 



The bond between mother and daughter is one of the most significant of all relationships. A relationship psychology tip to improve your connection with your mother or daughter is to make sure that they have an open communication.



Even if there are downsides in every relationship, be sure that you look beyond the negative issues and work to strengthen the positive ones. 



Women who are unhappy in their marriages sometimes vent the failures out to their sons. Relationship psychology says that these boys will grow up with the “negative vibes” which may affect their future relationships as well.



Likewise, fathers who are unsatisfied with their marriage are likely to be negative on their daughters. This relationship psychology basically works like a cycle. 



Childlessness is a tough issue that affects a lot of couples. Whether they each have different stand on this, or they both have no choice, they should seek advice so as not to put a strain on their relationship.



A helpful psychology tip would be to be supportive and accepting of each other. If couples genuinely love each other, they would be willing to look beyond their differences, and focus  on what brought them together. Only then will they realize that all other issues are superficial.


Relationships - Books On Relationship Stories You Should Read Up Regardless Of How You Identify


Relationships - Books On Relationship Stories You Should Read Up Regardless Of How You Identify



Relationship Stories




Like all books, relationship stories don’t always have happy endings. Even if fairy tales have their happily-ever-after finale, they had to go through hell to achieve that. 


Real relationship stories have their own villains. Break ups, separation and divorce hound every commitment, making life miserable for those with the weakest of hearts. But this does not mean that all relationships are doomed. In fact, if couples would solve all issues together, happy endings are very much achievable.


Most songs are actually relationship stories. That is why people who are in a commitment or are trying to get out of one, feel that they can relate to all the songs on the radio. But no matter how extraordinary you think your relationship is, it is just one of the many relationship stories that people talk about. 


There are no real experts on love. Even if you earned dozens of recognitions in school, you won’t get to use all those when you are in a relationship. Geniuses will never make more stupid decisions than when they are in love. Too many relationship stories tell us about smart people defying logic. And this all-too-familiar scene proves that love is a very powerful thing.


If you feel that your commitment is not heading where it should be, you can do soul-searching and look for answers, ask family and friends for advice, or you can read up on books. The “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” will probably point you to the right direction. 


If you have been reading relationship stories all your life, and have never met love in person, you can either put an ad in the paper, or you can read “Dating for Dummies”. With this book, you may not have to be single and available for long. 


The best relationship stories are those from one’s single years. Not that marriage is boring, but dating does not have with the same commitment and responsibilities that marriage has. “The Everything Dating Book” will make your single days as worthwhile as they should be. 


If finding your perfect partner is so hard, you can stop looking and read up on “Falling in Love for All the Right Reasons: How to Find Your Soul Mate”. And probably soon enough, people might be reading up on your very own relationship stories. 


People who are going through difficult times with their partners can lock themselves up in their room and wail till they grow hoarse. But they can console themselves with the fact that a million others are going through the same thing -- or much worse. A failed relationship is not the end of the world. Instead, it could be the start of a better one. 


Relationships - Great Tips And Tricks To Help You Build Healthy And Strong Relationships


Relationships - Great Tips And Tricks To Help You Build Healthy And Strong Relationships



Relationship Tips




People deal with different relationships everyday, from home to partner relationships, to family and friends’ relationships, to professional or coworker relationships and to simple dealings and connections with people that surround one’s daily life.  Relationships, whether good or bad, affects the person in one way or another, more particularly so affects the emotional status and functionality of a person.  


Unfortunately, bad relationships tend to have a chain of effect on how the person deals with his everyday role. Take for instance, a married person having an argument with the spouse before going to work; the upset emotional status of the person creates a chain of reaction towards the different relationships that person encounters during the day, such as not being able to focus on work and bosses being troubled as well, or not interested with interacting with coworkers, or more so, easily irritated with things around him or her, creating another form of bad relationship with the people he comes across with.  


On the other hand, good relationships positively influence ones life.  The same way that bad relationships negatively affects ones dealings, good relationships have their great string of effects of well. So, how does one ensure good relationships?  Here are some simple relationship tips that can positively boost those interactions:


Relationship tip #1. Everyday, make mindful commitment to get rid of fault, criticism, and withdrawal from connections or communication with people you have relationships with.  


Relationship tip #2. Pay notice to and say appreciation for positive things that people do to you, regardless of how small.


Relationship tip #3. Candidly look at things, and be aware of the things that can be helpful with your relationship with others. 


Relationship tip #4. Develop consideration and concern for the people that form part of your relationships.


Relationship tip #5. Discover new skills of effectively communicating with others that would create safe, close, and strong bonds.


Relationship tip #6. Be aware that in both non-intimate and intimate relationships, power struggle is not an objective.


Relationship tip #7. Hidden bitterness towards someone or something about a person often results to conflicts, if something troubles you, express it in good communication.


Relationship tip #8. Encourage listening through listening to them as well; by the same token, relationships can be bettered.  


Relationship tip #9. Learn to do something for the other, remember it always takes two to tango, and good relationships are based on the effort of two and not one.


Relationship tip #10. Good relationships are erected upon compromise; there should always be a great balance of give and take on both sides.


These tips are just some of the few things one can do to enhance their relationships, take note that healthy, happy, and good relationships are not built overnight, it takes a good foundation of effort and skills, so start building yours now.



Relationships - Know The Stages In A Relationship So You Can Know What To Expect

Relationships - Know The Stages In A Relationship So You Can Know What To Expect

Relationships - Know The Stages In A Relationship So You Can Know What To Expect



Where Are We – Stages Of A Relationship


There are many types of relationships – various styles, different grounds. However all undergo through some sort of inbuilt though unnoticed, stages of a relationship.


Relationships are formed between two or more people as a form of social associations, networks, membership, or personal connections. These may be kinship relations, community attachment, association, profession, formalized union, non-formal intimacies, casual relationships, platonic ones, brotherhoods, friendships, or soul mates.



Many fields and theories have tried to describe and distinguish what these relationships are – Anthropology, sociology, psychology, and even biology. And more helpful to these studies is the uncovering of the stages of a relationship – how it is formed, developed, even terminated.



More importantly, the stages of a relationship determine the course of those people involved in a relationship. This especially applies practically to hazy relationships or to those that need mending or little appreciation. 



The beginning stages of a relationship seem to be full of care and mutuality. Until, it develops into ‘difference’ pressures, or, an amazing ‘connection.’



Negatively, the relationship could give off either a disappointing expectation, an ‘I-am-being-used’-complex, or a final ‘we’re-not-right-for-each-other’. If you’re lucky the relationship settles into stability and eventually to a commitment phase. – Yet how so? How are do the stages of a relationship develop either positively or negatively?



First to know in the stages of a relationship is the contact phase. This is an important stage because it marks all future prospects of a deeper bonding.



The ‘initiator’ of a relationship performs or is introduced to an uncertainty reduction – eye contact, open disclosure, and ‘what’s your ID’ (often instigated by instinctive “lust” or intense longing according to Helen Fisher, an anthropologist).



Also involved in this interaction is the perceptual getting-to-know-you – noticing how each one reacts, looks at each other including their body language, also paying attention to interactional cues such as nodding and eye-contact which forms the foundation of respect and agreement. If this first contact goes well then an invitational-step (courtship) could ensue by encouraging the relationship and further meet-ups.



This could end as is, if the invited results to avoidance strategies, not exchanging disclosure, responding minimally, and averting eye-contact. A number of “attraction” factors though could help the contact evolve into a deeper stage – familiarity, proximity, physical comeliness, similarity, reciprocal liking or reward-reinforcement.



Then both could engage in involvement (dating) steps through feelers (personal questions and hints), intensifying strategies (introducing to other close relations), and public expression (being seen together and showing affection).



The next stage then could be obvious through an intimacy/marital-stage marker – the symbolical exchange of personal belongings or commitment icons – friendship bands or a promise ring – creating “attachment”.



Expectedly, though regrettably, after 6-months, the relationship undergoes deterioration (not exactly termination) or ‘honeymoon-stage’ where flaws start to get noticed – the most crucial stage that dictates further stability and commitment in the relationship.

 


Luckily we all have a hand to make or break it. 



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Relationships - Marriage And Relationship Books - An Effective And Private Way Of Dealing With Relationship Conflicts

Relationships - Marriage And Relationship Books - An Effective And Private Way Of Dealing With Relationship Conflicts


Marriage And Relationship Books


People often turn to books to seek advice for troubled relationships, with the hopes of finding answers on their own about what they’re going through and how to possibly overcome them.  Some people find counseling a little way over their head as they sometimes feel embarrassed by the fact that they’re failing in one of the most important aspects in their lives, their marriage or their relationships.  Therefore, the need to be enlightened and advised without the “obligatory” pressures of relationship counseling, where they find in marriage and relationship books.


Breathing Room: Creating Space to Be a Couple

One of the many marriage and relationship books, this book is authored by Elayne, Ph.D. Savage, which discusses the every important and frequently misinterpreted art of intimacy without being stifling.  The book is all about what intimacy is and what it’s not, including the elements for intimate relationships.  The book gives great confirmation together with couple’s talks on topics and exercises.  The book is also an excellent primer on setting boundaries of relationships, both inside and outside.  This book is one of the brilliant marriage and relationship books that is ideal for couples seeking intimacy without feeling weighed down.


The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

The book is authored by John Mordechai Gottman, Nan Silver, which talks about a very sensible and scientific way of approaching marriage.  A lot of marriage and relationship books provide short-term treatments that make for a challenging read and/or commendable goals, but in general, they fail in the long-run to save shaky marriages.  The book’s author Gottman builds a pathway for marital success through theories and exercises with a recognized track record for achievement.  A lot of people don’t think that healthy marriages need to be exercised habitually, in the same way that the body gets fit through frequent workouts.  The book serves as the absolute guide to marital fitness, at the same time a valuable read for the unmarried, or those who have experienced failed marriages.


15 Minutes to Build a Stronger Marriage: Weekly Togetherness for Busy Couples

The book’s author is Bobbie Yagel, Myron Yagel, which discusses on how couples can increase deeper understanding parts certain parts of their relationship such as communication, forgiveness, spiritual growth, love, and intimacy both emotionally and physically.  The author brings into focus those fifteen minutes a week for busy couples to learn methods that would strengthen their bond on top of giving essence to time spent jointly, with practical new approaches to strengthen relationships.


Marriage and relationship books from experts have in a lot of ways helped people who have turned to books for answers.  They have found it more effective and more private to learn about themselves and their relationships, and encourage solutions to better and solve their relationship conflicts.





Relationships - Obstacles To Effective Communication In Relationships And How To Overcome Them

Relationships - Obstacles To Effective Communication In Relationships And How To Overcome Them

Relationships - Obstacles To Effective Communication In Relationships And How To Overcome Them 


The Cue To Good Relationship Communication



All relationship beginnings start with communication. Even a negative response to an invitation is made known through relationship communication. Notably, the end of an affair also relies on relationship communication.


But first is the wrong impression when we hear the expression “no communication”. Most people think that having “no communication” with your partner is the end of a relationship.



Yet to some, it could even mean as a way of communicating something good for the relationship (although at least for a while). The thing is, relationship communication could only either be good or bad. “No communication” could mean good, though most of the time bad. 



In relationship communication, silence could mean a great deal for the couple (or team or family member). So, a verbal “no communication” should not be the only point of concern. When somebody takes our body language together with our words (or lack of words), then he/she can probably find out what we really want to communicate.



Consider a woman who suddenly turns quiet while in a conversation with her lover, she keeps still yet gazes adoringly across the table. It doesn’t mean she’s offended by what the other said – in fact it’s a good thing. 



The problem only comes when the other person fails to get the message – the problem of “miscommunication”.



A much greater concern than having either a good or a bad message is the other person to understand what you are trying to get at rather than ending up with the other’s careless shrug of “whatever” – the worst form of bad relationship communication.



Miscommunication is best resolved by asking. Do not make assumptions or jump to conclusions (that are most probably wrong). 



Another obstacle to having a great relationship communication is communicating the truth. It already is a problem when a couple goes through with miscommunication, so what more if the sender expresses an erroneous message. Lying (or hiding the truth) always only makes things worse. 



Finally, the last thing to keep in mind when it comes to relationship communication is how we communicate.



If you’re not sure of what the other is trying to communicate, then without hesitation, ask for an explanation, although you may get the frequent response of “don’t you get it?!” Sincerely say, “I’m sorry, but I don’t get what you’re saying.” And for the other, appreciate the gap-bridging; you would rather hear a question than a ‘whatever’. 



It’s a fact that a person gets irritated when somebody doesn’t understand him, yet despite the miscommunication is his desire to be understood. People always feel good if somebody understands them. So don’t miss this chance. Revive the good relationship communication. Start talking again. And this time, communicate with care. 



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Relationships - Factors To Consider Before Choosing To Separate From Your Partner Or Spouse

Relationships - Factors To Consider Before Choosing To Separate From Your Partner Or Spouse

Relationships - Factors To Consider Before Choosing To Separate From Your Partner Or Spouse


Separation In Relationship



Today’s ‘modernistic’ societies have opened the doors to a totally different perception about relationships, particularly the marital relationships. 



New standards of “living together”, divorce, and remarriages have created an appealing option for people who no longer want to take the ‘extra mile’ of saving their relationships, thus the uncontrolled separation in relationships.



At this very moment, there are a lot of couples taking the transition between marriage and separation, which can come in different forms and motives.  For some people, separation in relationship is a preparation stage for the divorce process.



On the other hand, there are those couples who view separation in relationship as a means of making space and reducing the tension of the commitment so they can make up their mind on whether the marriage can be salvaged.



When a marital relationship looks as if it’s falling apart, separation in relationship can be a method for couples to dig up a more objective analysis of themselves and the advantage and disadvantages of the relationship, thereby giving each other the chance for understanding.



Here are some guidelines to put in mind when choosing separation in relationship as a change period that will show the way to either compromise or divorce:



Make a tangible plan.  

There is more to separation than merely being away from each other and disconnecting.  Besides the emotional factors of separation, there the matter on financial, children, and household responsibilities, and couples need to talk about them and think them over.



Focus on balance.

Separation in relationship is a period when couples can go into their own different places and think their over their relationship crisis, and honestly look into resolution or divorce.  



Be honest.

After one is able to rethink and balance the relationship, and still feels that absolute separation is needed on his or her part, being honest about it and communicating it is very important.  Holding back these feelings is unfair to the other just because one fears the reaction of the other or the guilt.



A new start.

Contrary to some couples ending in divorce of the separation stage, some couples realize how much they need and value the relationship, resulting to new desires that would make the relationship much stronger and healthier. 

 


A respectful ending. 

If for whatever reason, the separation stage does not help reconciliation and results to divorce, then the best way is to accept the other’s decision and begin the necessary legal steps.  Anger although a natural reaction, should not be allowed to hinder the process as this would further add pain and frustration.



Separation in relationship should not always be taken the negative way, more often than not, they become ways of re-energized, stronger, and more valued relationships.




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